Sunday, August 19, 2012

C'est La Vie

One of the fun things about dating is.....Oh...gotcha! There is nothing fun about dating! If you know nothing about me at this point, you should at least know that I believe that dating SUCKS! But I do get these, oh so amusing, tales to share. So, yay! for looking on the bright side.

So this week’s tale begins in a land far far away. Well, not really, but the jerk I’m going to talk about tonight is French. And France is far away. Now let me just say, I don’t know a LOT of people who are from other countries, but I do know some. And I have dated some. Both pre- and post-marriage. And what I have found is that they, even more than American jerks men seem to have no real understanding of what is appropriate to say. Is it because Americans are too uptight? I don’t know, but I do know that boundaries, for me, are a good indication of respect. And I actually do not think that they mean to be disrespectful when they cross boundaries that seem normal.

So I was talking to this French dude the other night. Where did I meet him? Where else? JDate. And this conversation was the first after weeks of telephone tag. The conversation was going ok. Nothing great. He wasn’t that entertaining, but I’m all for giving it time. At least a little. So then he starts asking me about how much time my kids spend with their dad. I answered and what followed was pretty typical, “How eez zat posseeble?” “Doesn’t he want to be wiz zem more?” “Don’t you want to do zings for yourself?” “ How do you manage?” “Don’t you need time to go to zee gym?” HA! As usual, I do NOT make this stuff up. It wouldn’t be nearly as good if I did. So I was getting annoyed. I understand that he might not understand my life, but I do not like to defend it. Even if his questions do sound better wiz zee cute accent. And as for the gym...well, one look at me, and it’s obvious, I do not have time to go to zee gym.

So then he asked how long I’ve been on jDate. I responded almost honestly. I told him off and on for two years. He asks if I’ve met anyone. Hmmm... Uh...yeah. Lots of people. I told him I met a few people who I dated, but nothing that lasted... Then he asks the creme de la question, “Have you been intimate with any of them?” 

EXCUSEZ- MOI???   (thank you Google-translate)

Who does he think he is? The funny thing is, he is not the first guy to ask me this. Actually, that’s not funny. It’s appalling. The actual funny thing is, he thought that was a totally fine question to ask me.

I informed him, as politely as I could, (because while slamming the phone down should have been my response, I’m, you know, desperate, and like to give guys oodles of chances) that that was a very personal question and one that I would not be answering. He didn’t seem to care and the conversation continued until I hung up. I do not remember the end of our conversation, honestly. I think we made a date, but at that point my Advil PM had kicked in and I couldn’t say for sure. If I get an angry French message telling me off for standing him up, I guess I’ll know I did. Oh well. C'est la vie.

And one more thing. Totally off topic. That mean girl I told you about...she defriended me on Facebook. She has still refused to answer my calls or return them. I know I should be ok with it, but I’m not. People suck.


  1. Is it ok that I find your love-life funny??

  2. Open up the possibility that there may be more opportunities and better opportunities outside of JDate. Perhaps this is a focus for you and rightly so however people to suck so why limit the pool of people to to find love? There could be one out there that is not Jewish but could have a world of love, partnership and all else that goes without it. Just saying:)

    1. I am sure that there are better opportunities than jdate, I just don't know what they are. Short of being fixed up with someone that someone knows, I do not know how to meet anyone, and no one is offering to set me up. And for me, dating outside of my religion is not a possibility. I know a lot of people do not feel the same way, but that's just the way it is for me. I hope that is the right choice.