Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Another totally awesome jDate horror story

You guys probably think I’m writing this post to wish you all a Happy Independence Day. Well, ok, sure. But that is not why I'm writing. I’m writing to tell you of another jdate horror story. I know! Another one? How is it even possible?

This one goes back a bit. About a year ago (13 months to be exact), I contacted a guy on jdate who I thought was really cute. I liked what he wrote. He seemed humble and sweet. He wrote me back and asked for my phone number. We spoke a few times. I don’t really remember the details of it all, you know, because IT WAS A YEAR AGO! I do remember that we made a plan to go out. I think he wanted to do something like go to a museum, but I didn’t really want to do that for a first meeting. I asked if we could save that for our second date and just meet for dinner or drinks to start with. Maybe that wasn’t nice, but I didn’t mean it in a mean way. It was (is) just what I’m comfortable with.
He chose a restaurant which was close to his house and 45 minutes from mine. I didn’t complain...although I remember being annoyed. He knew where I lived (that statement right there worries the hell out of me) and I would have appreciated something a little closer. I arrived to the restaurant first. When he walked in, I literally didn’t recognize him. He looked nothing like his pictures. He looked 10 years older and 30 pounds heavier. That had never happened to me before where someone looked so different from their pictures. But, whatever. We were both there, so I went with it and tried to get to know him better. You never know, right? I knew. I felt no spark. I knew we were not a match. He complained about his ex-wife quite a bit, and besides the inappropriateness of that, honestly, as he described her, I remember thinking she and I didn’t sound that different. He complained about his money problems. Yeah...that’s sexy. I have money problems, too...but I don’t go and advertise them (except for here, on my blog, for the world to see). I don’t remember what else I didn’t like about him, but I just knew it wasn’t a love connection. I used to have a 3 date rule. I would go out with someone three times to give them a fair chance before I decided I didn’t want to go out with them anymore. That was before an evening of sitting on my couch doing nothing was so appealing. And before an evening out meant paying a babysitter $10/hour. I don’t have energy to give people so many chances these days.
So, our date ended. We said good-bye. Fifteen minutes later, he called to see if I was on my way home. An hour after that, he called again, to see if I had made it home. Probably would have totally loved that, if I had liked him. I don’t remember what happened over the course of the following week, but I do remember the next weekend. I remember it because E and N were at their dad’s house, K was was I, and at 8:00 in the morning, he called to say, “hello.” Yeah...I was annoyed. I hung up on him and didn’t call him back. The next day, he called me again to say he was sorry he assumed I would be awake. I do not understand that about people. He is not the only guy who has thought it is ok to call me so early in the morning. It is just a weird phenomenon of rudeness that seems to be going around. Either way, I put him out of his misery. Told him I didn’t think we would be a good match, would like to be friends if he wanted, etc.
Six months ago, I changed my jdate profile pictures. He sent me an email saying he liked them. I said, “thank you.”
Yesterday, I got an email from him asking if he could ask me a question. My curiosity got the better of me and I said, “ok.” Curiosity killed the cat.
This morning I woke up to this note: when you decided to go on a date with me, were you interested or were you on the fence and why? I am not asking for constructive criticism. When you showed up for the date it didn't look like you cared to make an effort to dress up a little and in all your pictures on here, you look beautiful. What was going on? Is there something I said or did? Please remember to be kind when you answer I am not slamming either of us.
I would say I’m more in shock than speechless. I pretty much always have something to say. I’m just wondering will a reply to a wack job like this, get me killed? I have a rough draft of what I’m thinking of sending. Let me know your thoughts...
Wow. That’s really all I have to say.  Actually, I have a lot to say, but I’m going to keep this short. Just to be clear here, a YEAR after we had ONE date, you somehow think it is appropriate to contact me, insult my appearances (and don’t think b/c you stuck a compliment in there about my current pictures that that makes it ok), ask me what I was thinking and tell me that when I answer, I need to be KIND..? Let me just say this...I will not answer your question. Had you asked in a way that was NICE, I would have. But for you to dare say that I didn’t dress up or make an effort (oh wait, I forgot, you’re not slamming anyone here)...honestly, who the hell do you think you are?
Dating is hard, there is no doubt about it. Often times, when I make the decision not to date someone, I wonder if that is the right choice. Truthfully, I didn’t have those questions with regards to you. If I had however, this email would have reassured me that I 100% made the right decision. Please do not contact me again.
It’s amazing...I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up.

Ok...what do you think?


  1. Sandy in FloridaJuly 4, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    I'd say you dodged a bullet, but sounds like you dodged a bomb. What makes me sad is I know there are some great guys out there, just don't give up hope that you *will* meet one. Why do we women always have to go thru a barnyard of poo to find a good one. I'm glad you keep a sense of humor about this stuff, and I'm sure there's someone out there looking for a normal woman (like you) who will be a compliment to their personality. If not, there's always the last couple guys you posted about 1) Mr heavy eyebrows in the bar background photos and 2) The post guy for STD's. I kid, I kid :) Happy 4th

    1. Haha!! Thanks!! :) It's pretty sad when the silver lining is a guy with a communicable disease!! :)

  2. I say you send that response exactly as it is. To contact you and ask you such things in such a manner, after a YEAR, is just downright rude to say the least. Good lord....

  3. Ignore him. He isn't worth your time.

  4. Lol, felt no spark? The dates that have sparks never last long. If he was respectful then there is a chance for mutual attraction. What I would ask is that there is nothing that you did that led him to keep chasing you? Comon now.