Thursday, April 26, 2012


Sometimes I feel that my sense of humor is going to get me in trouble one of these days. I mean, I think that my sense of humor can be a little inappropriate, or maybe "warped" is a better word.

Every Monday, either Elliott or Naomi (depending on the week) bring home a "Book in a Bag." It is basically a small, easy to read book (in a ziploc bag) that they practice reading and prepare to present it to the class, along with a small project, on Friday. The projects can be anything from drawing a picture of the main character to doing a puppet show to making a diorama. This week, Elliott's book was about a zoo. It went something like this, "I see the camel. Do you see the camel? I see the elephant. Do you see the elephant?" etc. Elliott decided for his project, he wanted to make a different ending for the book and draw a picture of it. I thought it was a great idea! And he worked so hard on his project. All week. Every day. You know what his ending was? Well, the original ending was, "I see children looking at the animals. Do you see children looking at the animals?" Elliott's ending was a little darker than that. It was, "I see the tiger eating the bunny. Do you see the tiger eating the bunny?" I thought it was so original. And pretty damn funny. I laughed so hard that I honestly didn't see the inappropriateness of it. Now, however, I'm starting to think maybe it isn't as funny as I thought, and I'm just worried that the teacher is going to see it and think, "Sociopath!" Oy! And let me just tell you, I am incredibly grateful, for the first time ever, that he has ZERO artistic abilities. I can only imagine how I would feel if his picture actually resembled a tiger eating a bunny. I kind of just looks like a big smudged glittery cat...with chew toy.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

There has been a lot of nipple talk around here these days...

Elliott: "Mommy, since Kayla won't stop nursing, maybe you should just, you know, put your nipple in a glass..."
Is he handsome or what?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Zits...pimples...acne. Whatever you want to call them, they suck, right? Is there any age that is a good age for them to show up on your face? I mean, 16 is not a good age. You are dealing with high school! That is enough for anyone. Who wants to deal with breakouts on top of that? I had my fair share of skin imperfections as a teen. And in collage. And ever since then. I guess I sort of expected them to go away at some point... Now to be fair, I do not have awful skin, but it's far from porcelain either! I mean, seriously, I'm almost the dreaded 4-0, and I'm dealing with anti-aging regimes these days. I did not know that aging skin comes with it's own agenda which often includes breaking out around the hair and jaw lines. Ew! Wrinkles and breakouts. How did I get so lucky?
But if that's not bad enough...I have children. Sweet, adorable, say whatever comes to their little minds children. And THIS is what one of them said to me today...while looking at my chin...and pointing to a pimple:

"Mommy, is that a boo-boo? Oh, no...I'm so silly...that's just a nipple!"

Guess who said that?

Thursday, April 12, 2012


I love a good laugh! Remember when I got this in the mail? I thought that was pretty funny! Oh how I laughed.
Yesterday I got THIS in my mailbox. I really think someone put my address on the wrong mailing list.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Last week (or was it two weeks ago now?) my kids had their Kindergarten Milestone program. At their school, every grade has one. It is a really beautiful and special ceremony which shows off what they have learned that year and turns everyone in the audience (or was it only me?) into a teary mess. For Kindergarten, the students sang a bunch of beautiful Jewish songs that celebrated their Hebrew names, which they have been learning all year. The ceremony was nothing short of spectacular.
Here are some pictures of how they looked on this special day:

Group shot!

Some individual pictures plus their favorite...Funny Face pose!

Monday, April 9, 2012


Help Me. Pinterest has turned me into a DIYer and I think I'm dangerous. Lately I have been armed with cans of spray paint most of the time, but I'm going a little crazy. I'm going to attempt to make something for our Arts and Crafts room. This was one of the first things I "pinned" on Pinterest, and today I'm going to try to make it.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Just in time!

You know that Tooth Fairy note I wrote the other day? Well, I wrote it just in time!

That afternoon I was greeted with this toothless smile when I picked her up from school.
Very exciting!!
Of course, how she lost it is a bit interesting. She has a gross habit of chewing on her backpack strap. That afternoon in carpool, she was doing this and one of her friends decided it's not healthy for her to do that. While pulling the strap out of her mouth, out came her tooth!
She was thrilled!
And I was ready!!
A few weeks ago, we made this Tooth Fairy Door.
Isn't this cute? We painted it and hung it on the wall in the kids' bedroom. You know people sell these on etsy for $35? What a ripoff!!

You saw the letter.
She also received a certificate, a gold dollar coin, and everyone got three pieces of chocolate gold coins. I stocked up from Costco around Chanukah in anticipation of this. Elliott's response to that? "We got gelt! Our Tooth Fairy must be jewish!"

Of course, after all of my hard work, and research, Naomi looked at my computer and unfortunately said, "Hey Mommy, how come you have pictures of the Tooth Fairy on your computer?" Don't worry, my secret is not out. "Um, I googled her to look for her phone number." Poor thing bought it.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tooth Fairy

You know those things that are certain? Death...taxes...and teeth falling out! Oy! I hate them all. I’m hoping to avoid death any time soon. Taxes...just paid (fuckers) and teeth falling out. Well, it’s coming! Naomi’s tooth is at that totally gross, hanging on by a thread stage right now. It’s disgusting. She’s tried pulling it. I’ve tried pulling it. Even Elliott has tried pulling it. 

None of us can get a good enough grip or big enough balls to yank it out. But it’s coming. There is no denying it.
This morning I spent a good two hours composing a little love note to her from the Tooth Fairy. Two hours because one hour was spent trying find enough samples of letters online to “borrow” to make my letter the way I liked it plus then I needed to find a picture of the Tooth Fairy that I could somehow print out without having to actually pay for. Oh...the other hour? That was spent trying to figure out why my “text” tool wasn’t working. Turns out, if your text is set to “White” and you are typing on white paper, it won’t show up. That was fun.
Here is what my Tooth Fairy letter looks like, expect for the glitter glue I added that is drying as I type this. Everything is better with glitter glue. Now we just wait for that disgusting thing to fall out. Can’t wait!!