Sometimes, I think maybe I overreact. Or am too judgmental. So please, let me know...is it me? Or are these guys just freakizoids from Hell?
JDate has an annoying feature called “Secret Admirer.” Basically, if you admire someone, you mark it off on their profile and then they are send an email with 5 profiles. One of them is the Secret Admirer and you check off which one you admire and if you both admire each other, you get an email telling you so. Because I am a genius, whenever I get one of these emails, I can pretty much tell who is Admiring me without necessarily Admiring them back.
Last week I got one of these emails. My Admirer seemed OK. Nothing too spectacular. I had read his profile and kind of thought he was completely average. Not too good looking. Not too smart. Not too rich. Not too funny. I pretty much started snoring half-way through it. Not being one to act on my judgmental side, I thought about giving him a chance. Except for one thing. In his profile, he wrote this:
.......plantaris tendon that I ruptured playing basketball heals. And don't worry ladies, the plantaris tendon is "far" below the waist, in the calf muscle. Everything else works just fine.......
WHO writes this in their “About Me” section? Am I crazy or are these guys just complete losers? I’m guessing that this means his penis works...? He mentioned his waist, but I don’t think your Belly Button can be broken. What else is in that area? Spleen? That’s boring. Yes, let’s assume he means his penis. Well, Mazel Fucking Tov! Who cares? I mean, if I’m wanting to reproduce with you, I guess I would care, but how about, we just assume it works and you only post about it in profile if it doesn’t work, MmmK? Thank you very much.
This is the guy is Admires me. A guy who needs to post to the world that while he has a boo boo on his leg (whaaaa...MOMMY!!) his schlong works.
Damn it! I can’t believe I pay for this membership.