Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

Two years ago, for Valentine’s Day, I received a beautiful, redish, orangey, pink, Swarovski necklace. Less than a month later, the asshole walked out on me, claiming that being married wasn’t fun and accusing me of talking to a lawyer because I wasn’t happy. That was a total lie, btw. It is part of his Delusional Narcissism syndrome. Yes, I diagnosed him myself. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t in the best spot. I had a baby, two toddlers, a husband who refused to help me with any of the child rearing, spend time with me, or have sex with me. I also wanted to move because the house we were in did not have a bedroom for my baby, we lived on an insanely busy street with NO yard and no fence (he refused to put one up because he didn’t want to spend the money (did I mention he is a SURGEON?!)), and there was a pool table in my living room.*  We had been looking for a house for over two years, but he found something wrong with every house. Every. House. Two. Years. Of looking at homes that cost anywhere from $700K - $2 million. Not one of them was good enough for him. So, was I thrilled with my life? No. Did I want a divorce? Not at all. I just wanted things to get better. But when he gave me my Valentine’s Day gift, not in a million years did I guess what I would be dealing with less than a month later. Hell, the morning of the day he left, we were busy planning our summer vacation and I didn’t have any idea. Ahhh...the good old days...
Fast forward to today. Valentine’s Day. Three children counting on me to make their Valentine’s Day special. Uh...hmmm. Given my complete lack of motivation to do anything other than lie on my couch, this was not easy feat. Luckily, I went into the grocery store last week and saw these cheap cute little Pez dispenser/cuddly bear/key chains. Those would do! I put them at the table this morning, which I decorated with a red tablecloth. Boy did they love those key chains. 

I told them that we would be having our romantic Valentine’s day dinner at Chipotle, and hallelujah! Not one of them whined about it! They LOVE Chipotle.

And then they gave me my present. They have been working on it for the past two days. It is not their best work, I have to say. And I can say that, because I am way too bitter to be one of those moms who thinks that every single thing their children touch is spectacular and needs to be put in a museum. Honestly. I prefer brighter colors. Just sayin’. But, they tried really hard to make it 3-D and I think that that’s pretty amazing. Even if they did use up an entire role of tape to do it. Whatever. I'm just going to make a note of that, and one day when they are all grown up, I'm going to one of their houses to steal a role of scotch tape, and we'll be even steven. Anyway, here is my gift from them: 

Happy valentines day!
I love it ridiculous amounts. I hung it in my closet. Naomi asked me if she could put a shin on it so I could kiss it every time I walked past it. Like a mezuzah. Think that qualifies as having a "G-d complex"? I'd say so.

So, that's my Valentine's Day. It would be really nice if I had someone who loved me to give me a pretty necklace, but I'm not going to complain. The last time I had that, he walked out. The ones who gave me this year's present, wouldn't do that to me. They are too young to drive and way too lazy to even get to the end of the block, so I'd say I'm stuck with them until they get their licenses!

*When he built the house, he had it built around his pool table. Sadly, I am not kidding. It wasn’t in the basement or “billiard room.” It was right in the middle of my house. As in, open the door, go past entry way, “Hello, Pool Table.” 

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