You know you are in a pretty crappy place in your life if an unexpected “gift with purchase” makes you boohoo like a baby.
I am on a pretty serious budget. You know, given that I make $10 an hour AND just had my hours cut significantly AND I have three children and an asshole ex-husband (oops! Did I just say that?) who doesn’t pay me what he should, money is tight. I was never spoiled or a big spender. Even when I was married, and had the means to be a big spender, my ex never liked me to spend money on myself (that goes along with the whole “asshole” thing). Did I mention he is a surgeon? So, while I never overspent on myself, if I wanted a new cosmetic item, I pretty much bought it. I may have waited until there was free shipping or a gift with purchase, because I like free stuff as much as anyone else, and I grew up with parents who are
poor cheap, so it was sort of ingrained in me to try to get the most from my buck. Either way, I wouldn't stress for weeks about my purchases, and it didn’t overly concern me that my favorite line of makeup was kind of really expensive. Once the asshole (I’m on a role here) decided that walking out on me and his three children (ages three and under) was appropriate, I knew that things were going to need to change.
Which leads me to this really boring story.
A few weeks ago, I realized that I needed to buy a new powder. I also knew that the powder that I am currently using and loving is really expensive. For weeks I stressed about this. Like I said, I do not like to overspend, but I also really hate to spend less money on something that I’m not going to like and then end up getting what I wanted in the first place which means I spend even more.
Finally the other day, I was kid-free for a few hours and in between gyno and derm visits (partay), when I drove past the mall. I decided to go in and get my powder. Who the hell writes posts about powder? This is awesome!). As I handed over my credit card for my powder (which makes my skin look about as flawless as it is going to, which isn’t really flawless at all), the lady at the counter says to me, “I’m going to throw in a few extras.” I swear, my ears literally perked up. Like a spaniel’s. I asked her what I was getting and she started going on about some perfume samples, a little lipgloss, and a full-sized eyeshadow! That’s when the tears started flowing! I was so appreciative of that full-sized pretty green eyeshadow. The more I thanked her, the more she put into my bag. When she mentioned that if I gave her my phone number she would call me when they started doing complimentary facials, I swear, I passed out for just a second.
I came to just in time to sign my credit card receipt, and while I am exaggerating just a little bit about the whole passing out thing, I really was so thrilled to get my extras.
It was so nice to get some treats and I felt really good about things. Yet as I type this, I am confused. I honestly don’t know what it means that something as little and insignificant as an eyeshadow, albeit a $30 eyeshadow, makes me so happy. Does it mean, "Hey awesome! Lisa doesn't need much. For her birthday, let's get her a box of kleenex and call it a day!" Or does it mean that life is so hard some days, that any act of kindness, even if it is some green eyeshadow that I will hardly ever wear (because let's be honest, I never go anywhere green eyeshadow is needed), can make things seem better than they are? I don't know. And maybe I shouldn't care. Maybe I should just add it to my makeup collection and hope that I get to wear it before Naomi does!!