Nothing says “F you, Mom!” like showing up to have lunch with your Kindergardener only to find that he is so embarrassed by the sight of you that he will neither greet you, sit near you or say good-bye to you. Seriously! I just so happened to have nothing to do today (HA! Yeah right...) and decided in all of my Mommy Awesomeness to go have lunch with Elliott and Naomi. And it wasn’t just me that made the trip. I brought Kayla and our totally awesome and amazing babysitter/neighbor who left for college but is home for a few days, as well. So...what do you think my little Line Leader did when he realized that we were waiting outside of the cafeteria for him? He turned several shades of PURPLE and slapped himself on the forehead as if to wake himself from a bad dream. Upon realizing that he was in fact awake and could not escape the humility of my presence, he did the next best thing: he completely ignored me. In fact, at the table, he put three people between himself and me. I caught his eye one time and waved. That was the extent of our communication. I thought Naomi was pretty excited to see me because she bounced up and down quite a bit, but then I realized that she just needed to pee. In her defense though, she did talk to me. I believe her words were, “Mommy, can you walk us back to our class so I can push you out?” Now that’s gratitude! As I walked them back to class, I got to hold Naomi’s hand. They were waiting to go into their classroom, and Mr. If I Don’t Look at Her Maybe She’ll Go Away was doing his best to disappear into the floor. I told his teacher to tell him I said, “Good-bye.” She looked at him and said, “Elliott, don’t you want to say, “bye” to your mom?” He didn’t even look at me, but I saw his little ears turn red as he ran into his room to escape the humiliation.
So, I guess it’s the end of an era. I am no longer cool to my little one. He is not a baby who wants to hold my hand and give me hugs no matter who is looking. I figure there are several ways to deal with this. I can bemoan the loss of innocence that comes with age (although I really didn’t think it would be gone this soon) or I can embrace the dorkiness that he sees in me and figure out new and unusual ways to mortify him. Oh yeah!!!
***Edited to add: It is amazing how this face can be such a brat during lunch and just now, when I saw him wandering around the kitchen and asked him what he needed, he responded to me with, "I don't need anything because I already have your love." Seriously!?! This boy is gonna melt some hearts one day!