Saturday, January 21, 2012

Stop "bugging" me

There are a lot of things that I don't like about not being married. For starters, there is the "no nookie" thing. Haha. Just kidding. I usually consider that a bonus. 
But seriously! There is a lot of responsibility I have and no one to share it with. Now truthfully, when I was married, he wasn't exactly a "chip in and help" kind of guy. He was more of a "Me man. I go work. When I no work, I go out with idiot friends and you do everything else." But there were some things that I didn't have to do completely on my own. And now they all fall to me. For example, changing lightbulbs. Man I hate that! I can’t stand the sound of the lightbulbs as you screw/unscrew them. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. And lightbulbs feel so dirty and dusty. They literally gives me chills when I touch them. And not in a good way. Isn't it funny the things you don't know about people until they start unleashing them all upon the Internet? 
Then there is battery changing. So annoying. I have a stack of broken toys in my office all awaiting attention from me, my screwdriver and a couple of Duracell.
But the worst thing of all that I have to deal with is... BUGS. Yuk! Roaches. Spiders. Wasps. Hate them all. I am seriously considering getting a bat house to hang in my backyard to help with this situation. Of course, then I will have rodents...
I already have an exterminator. And plenty of bug swatters. Not to mention, I am totally training my kids to deal with these little suckers. They do a pretty good job. 
But see this?

This little bug has been my nemesis for over SIX MONTHS now. Know what it is? It is a pantry moth. Know how I got them?

That’s right. I try so hard to be a good person. In the spring I like to plant a garden with my kids. We get lots of vegetables and it’s a lot of fun. Since I pretty much live in a forrest, I was worried about squirrels eating my veggies. Several ways to deal with that, I was told. I could either put hot pepper sauce around my garden, or just set up a “squirrel station” at the other end of my yard. Me, being the kind soul that I am, figured, “Why burn the little squirrelies’ tongues?” I’ll just choose Plan B. So I went to the store, bought a big bag of squirrel food, started feeding them and wa-la. The good news is they left our garden alone. We must have eaten 6000 tomatoes this summer. Also, watching squirrels eat, is pretty darn entertaining. The bad news? Apparently, inside the humongous bag of squirrel food I got, were little pantry moth larvae! Know what they turn into? Plain old pantry moths. Know how many I’ve killed since our infestation in July? Probably about a gazillion. And I’m not kidding. After I threw away my squirrel food, I set traps everywhere. They were full within the week. But the moths weren’t gone yet. It even took a month or two before some bugs discovered that my pantry was chock full of food even tastier than dried corn and seeds. Since this summer, I have literally purged all open packages from my pantry THREE times. I no longer keep anything in my cabinet. Every time I think I find the “source,” and get rid of it, I spy another flying bugger. It is nonstop. And I have no one to help me. I mean, sure, the kids help me throw food away. They like to try to kill the bugs, but the stress of having BUGS in my house? It is mine and mine alone.
I am actually writing this now because I think that there is a chance that perhaps they are gone for good. I wouldn’t dare humiliate myself by informing all of you that I currently have some flying house guests. It seems much more acceptable to tell you that I used to have them. I haven’t seen any in a couple of weeks. Maybe I am almost ready to restock my shelves..?
But I swear. If they come back...I just can’t deal with it again. I’m gonna have to find some guy to marry, just to help get rid of these damn bugs! Or maybe not. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to trade in a bunch of annoying little creatures for one big one...


  1. We had that maybe 2 years ago. It came from a box of food that was in a cardboard box. We put everything in Tupperware containers and the problem went away quickly. No food for them to keep eating...

  2. When life hands you lemons...sounds like you need to throw a Tupperware party! What a great way to hang with the other moms you'd like to have time to hang with and get some good storage containers on the cheap :) I'll be on the lookout for my invitation :)