Saturday, January 14, 2012

The best $6.95 I ever spent

I think it is safe to say that drooling over the sight of a bottle of wine at 1:00 in the afternoon is a bad sign. Of course, it’s also a pretty crappy sign when you realize in the middle of a job interview for what you thought was your Dream Job is most definitely not. The interview went a little something like this:
Interviewer: Do you want to work with people with disabilities? 
Me: Oh yes, yes, yes. 
Interviewer: Can you take the on-call phone for one week a month? 
Me: Oh of course, that’s not a problem. 
Interviewer: And if you get a call in the middle of the night, can you drive into Atlanta to the group home and deal with whatever the problem might be?
Me: Huh?
Interviewer: The pay is 30K
Me: Good-bye
When I told my recruiter that I didn’t know that the phrase, “Carry 24/7 emergency phone” meant leave my children in the middle of the night, she kind of said in a disgustingly patronizing voice, “Well, what did you think it meant?” Um, well, Snotty Attitude Recruiter, I thought it meant to carry the damn phone and ANSWER it! So, needless to say, I am very disappointed. This whole Must Get a Job thing, sucks!
When I got home from that disastrous interview, the wine was just calling my name. 
You know what amazes me? I went through my ENTIRE 20’s not drinking. And now I wonder, “WHY?” Alcohol is your friend!! I can’t imagine the good times I missed being all boring and sober. Look, I have no interested in being a drunk. Ok, actually, I have a huge interest in it, but overall, I do not think that would serve me well so I’m not going down that path. But why was I so afraid of drinking when I was younger? Since this whole Single Mom thing happened to me, I have realized that a glass of wine is a good thing. You see now, my life pretty much sucks. I admit that. But a glass of wine makes it survivable and at times even pleasant. So if that is the effect that a drink can have on a crappy life, imagine what it would have done for me when my life was easy! My G-d, it would have been a party at my place!
Now don’t go getting all nervous. I don’t drink at 1pm. The wine can call, but I don’t answer (I wait until a respectable 4pm). And I don’t drink and drive. Nothing like that. An occasional sip or two at dinner is all I need to turn that frown upside down. I guess that is the result of not drinking until your mid late 30s. But I do keep a pretty bottle of pink bubbly wine that tastes like Sprite on my counter. It is probably supposed to be in the refrigerator, but I don’t care about that and it doesn’t fit. The lady at Trader Joe’s recommended it to me. She had me at, “It’s pink and bubbly,” but when she added, “It’s got 10% alcohol and costs $6.95,” I swear, I almost kissed her.
So, in response to the dream job that wasn’t, it's a let down, I can't deny it. But when life hands you sour and moldy fermented grapes, you have several choices. In this case, my choice is to say, "Kiss my Ass you 30 thousand dollar a year job that expects me to get up in the middle of the damn night!" and to you Readers, "Cheers!”

4 comments:

  1. They'd have to pay me a helluva lot more then 30k to answer a phone in the middle of the night and even more to leave my kids.

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  2. Replies
    1. I don't know!! I accidentally deleted ALL of my emails! 500 of them...gone! It's kind of scary but kind of nice, too!

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  3. A glass of wine can be your best friend!

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