Sunday, February 10, 2013

My little devil

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Break Fast

And because I wasn’t feeling sorry enough for myself yesterday, today I heard this message when I was leaving synagogue (and no, I wasn’t supposed to be listening to my voicemails on Yom Kippur, but I’m not supposed to be blogging either so here I am, the day is not over and already I’m scoring big with the BIG guy upstairs...yes, I am a sinner), “Hi Lisa, this is R. I’m so sorry, but I’ve got a little cold so you guys shouldn’t come over to Break Fast tonight. I’d hate to get anybody sick. OK, Hon. Have a good day. See you tomorrow at gymnastics.”

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Fake It Till You Make It

Someone told me that one time years ago, and I think about it a lot. And I try to do it. Slap on a smile when I don’t feel like it. Answer the typical, “Hey, how are you?” with “Great!” whether or not I am great. And try my best not to let the kids know if I’m sad. 

Last week was Rosh Hashanah. Tonight starts Yom Kippur. Then there is Sukkot and Simchas Torah. A whole month of Jewish holidays- Happy Days (except Yom Kippur...that’s not supposed to be happy, just “meaningful” "atonement-ful" and hungry (don't tell G-d, but I really hate this day)). Since we have no family here though, we are alone for a lot of holidays. And the truth is, it’s sad to spend the holidays alone. There is no other way to say it. I’m a single mother with three children and we are alone. The thing is, I don’t want the kids to feel lonely or to feel that something is wrong with us because we are not with anyone for the holidays. I want them to be happy. I want them to love the holidays, not dread them like I do. So I smile for them and I tell them how much fun we are going to have. And for the people who ask me, “So what are you doing tonight for dinner?” or "Who are you going to be with for the holidays?" when we have no plans, “It’s just us!” I say, or I just say what synagogue we are going to. That is usually followed by an awkward, “ should come to us...” Um...yeah. Because being an “afterthought” is so cool. No, thank you. And I don’t begrudge anyone for it. It's just embarrassing. For everyone. But I get it. People have their own problems, their own lives and their own families! Who wants to invite an extra FOUR people over! Vegetarians, none the less. It's not like you just throw another pieces of chicken in the oven. We are not simple guests. And I’d love to have people over to my house, but it’s weird. I don’t have a dining room table and my kitchen table is small. It’s hard for me to have guests. On top of that, if I invite a family, it’s weird for the MAN. He has no one MANLY to talk to. What if he feels the need to beat his chest or something, who is he gonna do it with? Men do that, right? I mean, I’ve done it- no, I haven't beaten my chest, that would look silly (and hurt), I've had people over. It’s just that it’s not my favorite thing to do- given my situation, not because I don’t like to have guests over b/c BS (before single), every holiday our house was packed. I used to love cooking and entertaining. But the asshole would not let me have the dining room table (he claimed he needed it for poker games) and I don’t have enough money to get anything I like. Boo hoo.

So, for my children, this holiday season, I am in official, Fake It Til You Make It mode. I want it to be fun for them, and I want their lives to feel full. Even if sometimes mine feels a little empty.

Before Rosh Hashana, I took the kids Apple Picking. It was our THIRD annual pre-Rosh Hashanah trip to pick apples. They love it, and it's really fun. Or as much fun as supervising three children on a trip to an Apple Orchard can be. But the trip means a lot to them and I don't ever want them to have to fake anything! 

Here are some pictures from that day. 

And by the way, we returned from our trip with about 70 apples, and guess what three children have since decided that they don't like apples?

Anyway...I gotta go. But if it applies to you, have an Easy Fast and May You Be Sealed for a Good Year (in the Book of Life). And let's hope next year is about a gazillion times better than this one was...for EVERYONE!! 

Sunday, September 16, 2012


I just love checking my email. Especially when there is a little "jDate" message in my inbox letting me know that someone has contacted me. For about two seconds, I think to myself, "maybe this is it..." So I quickly look at the user name to see if I recognize how it is from and then I read the note and profile (not necessarily in that order). Then reality sets in...

This morning I awoke to a "flirt" on jDate. A flirt is a prewritten line by jDate that the sender chooses to send to someone basically letting them know that they are interested without having to invest too much time into an initial email. I guess that is in case the receiver looks at the sender's profile picture and decides they look like an ogre and there is not way they would go out with them. Kind of lame. The flirt I received this morning said, "Why haven't you been snatched up yet?" There was no picture on the profile, but I went on to read it anyway. This is what he said in his "About Me" section:

I am a very easy going person...Jewish Heritage on both sides of my family...I am a Christian...meaning, that I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour...I am an Evangelist Preacher...I have also accepted God's call on my life to Ministry...I have grown children, but I would like to have another family...I enjoy all types of outdoor activities...swimming, running, some fishing, hiking, sight-seeing, photography...I love a good movie...barbecuing...dining out...reading a book...I am into stamp collection...coin collection...I go to Church on a regular basis...

Why do I even bother?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Where is "Chivalry"?

I had a date today. A lunch date. With a guy I was very excited about. This was our first date. We had planned to meet a couple of weeks ago, but I needed to reschedule due to E needing to get some teeth pulled. And after today’s date, I can honestly say, I would rather have had teeth pulled. It had so much promise...he is CUTE(!!), he has a good job, he has kids and when we talked on the phone, we laughed a LOT. I was so excited. Now I’m just disappointed. Lucky for you, I’m going to tell you all about it. To start with he chose a restaurant that he told me was “in the middle.” When we got to the restaurant (that was 13 miles from my house), and started talking, it came out that he works down the street from it. Hmmm. Ok. Not one to be discouraged, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he didn’t understand where I live. Maybe he thought I live at the other end of the street on which he works. It’s possible. 

But let me backtrack a little. The restaurant we went to was in a weird office building and parking was confusing. I called him from the parking lot to make sure I was in the right place. He was just pulling in, so I told him where I was parked so we could walk in together. I hate meeting dates in front of maitre d’s. I get paranoid that they are staring at me, judging and taking bets on whether or not there will be a second date. They are, right? I knew it. As we were walking to the elevator, from our cars, I realized that I left my parking ticket in my car and wanted to back to get it so the restaurant could validate my parking for me. I told him that and instead of him walking back with me, he said, ok, he would wait there. Again- Hmmm. Odd, right? That just doesn’t seem gentlemanly, or chivalrous, or “woo-ing” to me. But, whatever. 

We went to the restaurant and looked at the menus. He asked me if I would like to split a “large plate” and a “small plate.” I said sure, but that I didn’t know how he would feel about it, as I don’t eat meat and there weren’t many options, but he was game. We decided on the Vegetable Plate and that we would ask about the flatbread pizza of the day. Well, turns out, the flatbread pizza of the day was pulled-pork and ricotta. Not really something that was going to work for me. When he decided that he wanted it anyway, I pretty much knew that chances were, he was not my bashert, but still I try to remain stupid optimistic. Since we were SHARING the vegetable plate, we got hummus as well to split. And then he got an iced tea. You know where this is going, right?

Let me break it down for you- ME: 1/2 hummus appetizer, 1/2 vegetable plate, water; HIM: 1/2 hummus appetizer, 1/2 vegetable plate, 1 WHOLE flatbread pizza, iced tea. And then the check came. I have dated for many many years. On 95% of those dates I have offered to contribute to the check. Only three people ever accepted that offer until today (one of those people was my EX which says SO much, but I’m not going there now). Not only did he accept my offer to “contribute something to the check,” but his exact words were, “Sure, how about if you pay half.” Ummm...half? I DIDN’T EAT HALF, ASSHOLE. Oh wait, here comes the chivalry: “But don’t worry about the tip. I’ll get that.” Really? You amazing, generous, gentleman? You’ll get the tip? WTF? What the hell is wrong with people? I paid $18 for hummus and squash. I was so nauseated, I could have puked my hummus up on the table in front of him. 

And here’s the thing. Obviously, he’s not interested in going out with me again, I get that, and that is ok, but be a MENSCH! I am just constantly disappointed in how people treat each other and this is no exception. 

You know what's funny? I keep checking my email and phone for the message that I am sure is coming from him apologizing for his horrific behavior, because I honestly can't believe that if he thinks about it, he will think that he behaved appropriately. Maybe he was nervous, or sick, or (my personal favorite) has multiple-personalities, and the one with NO MANNERS accidentally came out at lunch today. Whatever, I know it's not coming, but I keep checking anyway. Because I want to have faith in people....and in chivalry.

**note: for as long as I date, I will continue to offer to contribute to the check and will continue to think that if anyone who accepts my offer is a jerk. Unless they have already paid for several dates previously. In my opinion, my offering is good manners and them declining my offer is good manners. Anything else is rude.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Fun way to earn free stuff

There are about a million things I should/could be doing right now, but because I have a cold and pretty much feel like crap, I'm not doing anything but sitting on the computer. Surfing. Without much purpose. Although I did find this cool website that I wanted to share because I love finding websites where I can earn points and get free things that I have no time to enjoy. Today I found Recyclebank. Recyclebank is an eco-friendly rewards program, with tons of high value coupons, including on organic and natural products. In order to print one of these coupons (or claim another reward), you must earn points, which you use to buy rewards. Recycle Bank allows you to earn points for a number of things – from participating in a city-wide recycling program (not available in all cities yet) to taking online quizzes. It's kind of fun. I haven't figured out how to earn all of the points yet, but so far I have 180 and that's enough for a magazine subscription!! Not bad for 10 minutes of playing on the computer! Here is the link if you want to sign up and play. What did we do before the internet?